The One With No More Sleeps

Sigh...

It's finally Friday. Midget Disposal Day. M Day :)

I've missed him this week. Actually, I miss him every week. I suppose it matters little whether I am physically in his presence because I know he is with me all the time. I can look in the mirror and see his collar around my neck. I can run my fingers along the links in the chain. Wherever I am, I think of him.

But I love being with him. I'm longing to spread my legs for him and have him crawl inside me.

Two hours and I'm on my way! :)

The One When He Invited Me To Dinner

M had invited me to dinner at his place. We'd seen each other since our first meeting but nothing had happened. We'd been speaking on the phone a lot so when the weekend rolled around, I was nervous but really looking forward to seeing him. We'd spoken at length about our mutual needs and wants. Everything seemed to click naturally.

Dinner was unlike anything I had experienced. He asked me to sit down at the table, straight in my chair, arms behind it. I had no idea what he was up to. He tied my hands behind the chair and my mind was racing through a million scenarios. He told me to close my eyes. I did, nervously, and he came up behind me and he tied a blindfold around my eyes. As my world turned black, I realised that I had submitted to him already without even having thought twice.

He fed me, pausing every now and then to touch me between my legs, forcing his fingers inside of me. It was so intense. When he finally stopped, he showed me the mess I had made on the chair, the floor... his shoes. I'd never done it before, but apparently, I'd squirted all over the place. I was mortified but he seemed to like it.

Sexually, we were more than compatible. I think it took us both by surprise. It was the kind of connection I had only ever imagined.

The weekend was glorious. In fact, every weekend I spend with him gets better and better. I know that seems unlikely, but it is true. The more I see him, the deeper I fall. As if I could be any more in love with him than I already am.

It's been about 7 months now. I have been collared to him for a good amount of that time.

That's not to say we haven't experienced a few issues. They were short-lived and have only seen us become stronger in our commitment to each other and to our relationship.

The One When We Met

I was 33 years old, very nearly 34.

The day I met him was like my re-birth. Sounds kind of religious (which I am not) but there are few ways to describe what happened. So this is my truth...

I had been seeing someone in a D/s capacity for almost a year, on and off. We both knew it was destined to end. I wanted love and a meaningful, long-term relationship and he did not. So I began seriously looking for what I really wanted.

There are websites designed to help you find people with common interests and I joined one. Most of the people who frequent these sites are after a hook-up. Sorting the good ones out from the rest seemed easy enough. But after chatting with several men, I came to the conclusion that what I was looking for didn't exist. I had been told this by several people. Disappointed, I made the decision to stop looking.

M read some of my writing on that site and commented. He sent me a message to say that he liked it. I read his profile and he sounded a little too good to be true. Nevertheless, we began exchanging email. The conversation moved slowly but I was hesitant, not wanting to get my hopes up again.

Eventually, I figured I had nothing to lose and asked him to meet me for a coffee and a talk.

I knew it was him the moment I walked around the corner. He was incredibly tall and I can remember what he was wearing, right down to his shoes.

I should mention at this point that I am incredibly shy. We bought some coffee and sat down in front of the water. I don't remember what we talked about, but I do remember that I couldn't look at him. He noticed. I guess he wondered why. The day seemed to turn into evening so quickly. We spoke non-stop. He spoke, I listened. I tried hard to speak but I was so nervous.

The time came to say goodbye. There was a hug and a kiss on the forehead. As I walked back to the car, I thought to myself, "If I don't open up and try to connect, I will lose him".

That day that I met him was the day I began to try to be better person again. I wanted to see him again.

At 33, I had finally found someone.

So I jumped.